I was graced with hands which lust to create. I did not choose to live within the both splendorous and torturous tower of artistic wizardry; the tower chose me. I am an instrument of aesthetics, a humble child of Aphrodite.

The world may never fully understand the deep pit of hot coals which glows and sparks with creativity within me, but I must attempt to impart some of my insight to the world. Raise your pencils and feel the passion build within you. Someday you too may be able to draw Mario as well as I.

For this demonstration (hardly a crumb of the giant blueberry muffin that is my talent), I will show you how to draw the charming Cortana of Halo.

It is always best to start with the smallest part of the overall figure, and anyone who tells you otherwise is blind. I suggest beginning with an eye, as it exposes the soul of your figure. The eye I have drawn says, “Hey, I’m Cortana, some kind of AI hologram thing.” We've just begun, and we've already captured the essence of the character!

To imagine the structure of the body accurately, we must simplify it. You may be worried about proportion, but that should really be an afterthought. Remember, you can always erase over and over again until the torso you drew doesn’t make your character look like a caterpillar. Right now, just focus on the essential structure and manikin-like pose.

Now we simply fill out the shapes with muscles and other human-like forms. This is probably a good time to completely disregard everything you’ve drawn to this point and get some actual human reference. If you don’t have a willing female roommate to pose nude for you, either find one or photograph your own body with your cell phone – it probably won’t be found by anyone and posted on the internet.

Now is the time to fix all of the mistakes you made up to this point. Make sure to draw around all of the parts that somehow turned out really good.  Even if you have to erase everything aside from the left hand, at least you have that one hand.

Finish your work in Photoshop. Don't worry about sloppiness, we artists call it "painterly." A lot of lighting effects and lens flares will add depth to your image. While your final product may not look quite as stunning as this (completed in only 86 hours!), you've embarked on the route to artistic empowerment. Keep working at it!

Now post your work on Deviant Art and tell everyone who criticizes you that you have a unique style, and that they can go to hell.

Check the links below for some less facetious fan art.

 Sexy fan art: Cortana Edition
Everyone's favorite computer software at her "wish she were real" best

 Sexy fan art collection
A fine selection of seductive, curvaceous, sensual, saucy and downright sexy game fan art